Finding Your Identity
Writing by bwerner on Monday, 9 of June , 2008 at 3:44 pm
How to Let Self Discovery and Authenticity Overcome Your Fears
Here’s how to find your identity. Self discovery and authentic living will help you achieve your goals in life and be true to yourself.
Finding your identity, self discovery, and figuring out who you are all ways to say “authentic living.” Finding your identity is a task most adults face because our true selves were squeezed out of us as kids. We had to conform or face the consequences…….so we conformed, and we lost our selves in the process.
Authentic living is expressing your true thoughts, feelings, and opinions without condemning or judging - and it’s one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do. Self discovery comes first, and being true to yourself comes right after.
The journy to self identity is full of failures and successes. Finding your identity is a process with no real end point. You’ll never finish the journey to self discovery because you’re always growing and changing.
Why is finding your identity or living authentically difficult?
Finding your identity is difficult because you got hurt. You’ve been betrayed, terrified, and even abused. Assaults on your self are difficult to survive when they’re committed by strangers. When people who “love” you hurt you, it’s even harder to bounce back. Finding your identity involves squaring with your past and forgiving others.
Finding your identity is difficult because you hurt others. Let’s face it: you’ve betrayed friends, partners, family; maybe you’ve even terrified and abused them. We all have. These cycles of pain and destruction make it difficult to open up and trust again โ you know how falliable humans are. Finding your identity and the journey to self discovery is about facing your mistakes.
Finding your identity is difficult because you watch the media and see images of perfection, which doesn’t encourage you to be your unique imperfect self. The gorgeous models, rock singers and movie stars look flawless. Finding your identity means knowing these images of perfection are impossible to live up to. Finding your identity means letting the quest for perfection go. Authentic living is never perfect. If you’re striving for perfection, you may never achieve your goals in life.
Finding your identity is difficult because you haven’t let go of expectations of your parents, family, supervisors, professors, mentors, etc.. You’re encouraged to color between the lines, fit in, and be “big a girl/boy” - but you’re not always encouraged to find your identity. Then, when you’re an adult you’re expected to be politically correct, mature, and responsible. Finding your identity means letting go of others’ expectations. Authentic living is letting go of expectations.
Finding your identity is a lifelong journey of self discovery.
Questions to ponder when you’re finding your identity:
- What makes your heart leap or your soul resonate?
- When do you feel most happy and relaxed? Finding your identity is knowing what makes you “you.”
- What’s the first thought or feeling that pops into your head when you encounter a song, person, memory, or experience? Finding your identity involves being self-aware.
- What’s the THIRD thought or feeling when you encounter a song, person, memory, or situation? (some say that’s your true self โ it may depend on how buried your true self is).
Finding your identity involves negative feelings:
- When โ and with whom โ do you feel depressed, sad, or drained? Finding your identity involves avoiding those situations.
- When do you feel physically ill or unhealthy? Authentic living means figuring that out, and avoiding those situations.
- What meetings, visits, or events do you find yourself dragging yourself to? Finding your identity is about limiting or eliminating those circumstances.
By Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen TheAdventurousWriter.com
Category: Buddhism, Personal Development
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