Personal-Development

ZEN (Joke of the Week)

Writing by bwerner on Friday, 1 of February , 2008 at 4:28 pm

Just some funny  Zen principles!

•  Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk
  ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me,
  either. Just leave me the hell alone.
• The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken
  fan belt and a leaky tire.
• It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to
  steal your neighbour’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
• Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren’t
  getting any.
•  Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you
  can’t be promoted.
• No one is listening until you fart.
• Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
• Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
• It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to
  serve as a warning to others.
• It is far more impressive when others discover your
  good qualities without your help.
• If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing
  a couple of car payments.
• Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile
  in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a
  mile away and you have their shoes.
• If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for
  you.
• Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him
  how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all
  day.
• If you lend someone $20, and never see that person
  again, it was probably worth it.
• Don’t squat with your spurs on.
• If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember
  anything.
• If you drink, don’t park; accidents cause people.
• Some days you are the bug, some days you are the
  windshield.
• Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
• Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of
  that comes from bad judgment.
• The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in
  half and put it back in your pocket.
• Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a
  rain dance.
• A closed mouth gathers no foot.
• Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side & a
  dark side, and it holds the universe together.
• There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither
  one works.
• Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your
  mouth is moving.
• Experience is something you don’t get until just after
  you need it.
• Never miss a good chance to shut up.
• We are born naked, wet, and hungry.Then things get
  worse

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Category: Buddhism

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